Life lessons!

There’s an old saying that when it rains, a certain type of person will believe it’s because the sky is intentionally trying to get them wet and ruin their day. They do not consider that it is also raining on everyone else around them, and the insects and animals and all of nature. The world exists for them, and when things aren’t going their way, it exists to spite them. This is technically called ascribing intent, and it’s not only one of the telltale signs of low self-awareness, it’s also a mindset that will do very little but hold you back. Sometimes, a person isn’t ready to commit because they aren’t in that place in their life yet. Sometimes, a person doesn’t show up for you not because they don’t care but because they themselves are in so much pain being around anyone else is nearly unbearable. Sometimes, less-than-ideal situations arise and it is not because the world is specifically trying to target, punish, or hurt you. Almost nobody is thinking about you the wa...

There are infinite decisions you make each day that ultimately lead to your next moment. What time you wake up at, what plans you agree to, deciding to stay in bed and watch TV, or what to eat for dinner.  And then we look back, and realize a lot of these moments created your life, your destiny. Whether you believe in full-blown destiny or not, we all experience those moments that were simply out of our control and otherwise stated,  destined  to happen. Kind of like hitting all the green lights home when you are in a rush. We all experience both those beautiful memories that build our confidence, and those terrible memories that attacked your self worth. In fact, we often affiliate destiny with positive synonyms as if it was curated in a Disney movie. And typically we dwell on the negative destiny. But destiny doesn’t come in a bottle with an ingredients label. Destiny doesn’t sway fully to the good or bad category. Destiny can be evil, unfair, and frust...

You need to trust yourself more. You need to stop second guessing yourself, stop doubting yourself, stop assuming you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about — because you’re wiser than you realize. You have a good head on your shoulders. You aren’t as hopeless as you sometimes feel. You need to stop looking at everyone else for guidance because you can figure out things on your own. You can carve your own path, create your own future. You have what it takes. You need to believe in yourself more. You need to take more chances. You need to seize more opportunities. You need to trust that you have what it takes to succeed. You shouldn’t assume you’re going to fail before you even try. You shouldn’t assume the worst is going to happen to you. You need to grow your confidence. You need to learn how to say, “I can do this,” because you  can.  You’re stronger than you realize. You’re more capable than you know. You need to respect yourself more. You need to stop treating...

In our humanness, we have forgotten. We have spent what feels like a lifetime moving so quickly that we have forgotten to stop and pause. To take a breath and remind ourselves what remains in the quiet amidst the stillness. What has been in plain sight that we have dismissed as we race towards an invisible finish line. There is a wide open space in the in-between that carries with it a voice we have ignored. It has asked us ever so gently in whispers to please take a moment each morning before we begin our day. To sit in gratitude for all that is. For the comfort of the beds we sleep in, the sounds of the footsteps from our family and pets that are greeting us when we wake. Or for some, the joy they find in the solitude of their space. It has asked us to notice the morning light that spills into our windows and the subtle sounds outside our homes. The books that line our shelves, waiting to fill us with imagination and intrigue. The food that fills our cupboards and allow...

"How can I comfort you when I can barely comfort myself?" Hasn't  your heart grappled with this very question at least once in your lifetime specially when you helped someone out of your zone and you didn't choose to refuse because saying a simple "NO" will counter question your personality? You beat yourself up, questioned your self-worth, decided you weren’t worthy of love, and isolated your heart. I don’t blame you, though—your world was turned upside down in a moment’s time. In a world of bright colors, the only thing that shone through was black . Little did you know that eventually that black would fade and you’d soon find yourself a blank canvas, enabling you to start over. I’m sorry that at your worst, you didn’t even love yourself. When you look back at those moments, I hope you realize how much you’ve grown. You learned how to put yourself first , that your feelings were valid, and that if you didn’t learn how to correctly love yourself fo...

People always told me my softness would be the end of me. That showing it would mean destruction, pain and hurt and nothing but unhappiness coming my way. “Grow a thick skin. Grow a hard heart” I heard this so often growing up that I simply took it for granted that anytime I grew hurt or upset by something people would tell me I’m oversensitive, soft and the world was simply justified in taking advantage of me because somehow I was allowing it. It seemed like the crime was entirely mine for feeling too much. The crime against me didn’t exist because my softness was the thing that allowed it. So therefore, I should sacrifice my softness at the alter of my protecting my own heart, because there is no other way. Except…there is another way. Listen to me, soft people. Do not allow the world to make you thick skinned to the point you feel nothing. Do not allow them to turn you angry and cold just like them. Do not let them steal that goodness from inside you. You see the thing t...